Home About Fawn Fawn's Blog Books Speaking Press Clips Contact Fawn       Press Clips     Washington Post Women at Work: Advice on Succeeding in the Office By Barbara Mathias-Riegel Special to the Washington Post Tuesday, July 16, 2002 Fawn Germer is a journalist who knows all too well the competition that goes on between women in the workplace. She especially remembers the green-eyed time when she sat next to another female reporter in a newsroom and they couldn't share their kudos. "Every time she got a compliment, I'd sit there grumbling; then when I got praised, you could see her doing the same thing," says Germer. It all came to a head at an office party held in an amusement park. The two women ended up bashing into each other, big-time, in bumper cars. Either that worked it out or Germer saw the light: The next day, she decided to move her desk to relieve the tension. The next time a big assignment came along, she suggested the two women share the project. "We worked beautifully together," recalls Germer. "I learned that we women should recruit our rivals." That's just one of many experiences that led Germer to research and write a book on the foils and victories women face in the workplace. What makes "Hard Won Wisdom," published by Perigee, unique is that Germer reports stories and down-to-earth advice from more than 50 women who have made it to the top, women like Cokie Roberts, Jane Goodall, Rita Moreno and Pat Schroeder. Powerful women in science, sports, media, government and academia talked to Germer about everything from self-promotion to dealing with a bullying boss (who also may be a woman). "The biggest lesson I learned from the interviews was about risk-taking," says Germer, 41, from her home outside Tampa. "I think a lot of us women won't take risks for fear of failing or of succeeding -- we are sinking because of these interpersonal worries." An especially powerful lesson came from the accomplished oceanographer, marine biologist and aquanaut Sylvia Earle, a woman who once walked alone at 1,250 feet below the sea's surface, a record that still stands. Her daring and passion as a scientist are indisputable but, as she told Germer, she failed miserably after starting an engineering company for underwater exploration. The business fiasco left her in substantial debt, and at odds with investors she thought were her friends. Yet Earle told Germer she feels enlightened by the whole experience because she learned what to do and what not to do the next time. Germer recently had a chance to try out her newly acquired skill in surviving risk and failure when she lost out on getting a much-coveted magazine column. "The old me would have said, 'I failed, they didn't like me,' " says Germer. "The new me said, 'Oh, I didn't get it. I'll do something else.' " One of the things Germer's done since the book came out last fall is to organize "mentor circles" where women of power and influence share their experiences and perspectives with other women. The idea of women helping women grew out of her musings with retired Lt. Gen. Claudia J. Kennedy, the only woman in the Army to achieve three-star rank. "She articulates so well how women can't share power," says Germer. "They think the more success you get, the less that is there for me." To change that, Germer has led numerous mentor circles, featuring women such as Kennedy, Nobel Peace Prize laureate Jody Williams and marathon legend Kathrine Switzer. The events have taken place in Colorado, Michigan, Florida and the District. According to Germer, "A whole range of women attends. A lot of them are venturing out on their own in business; and there are some who are corporate." What she likes best, she says, is when the women of power get to the point of admitting their vulnerability and talk about self-esteem issues. Realizing how harsh and critical these women are of themselves and how they had to deal with fears that they were different, or lacking, Germer turns it around so that the women see how unnecessary and untrue it all is. "It's liberating. I now feel great about myself. I can tell my negative voices, 'Will you shut up!' " "Getting a life" is another lesson learned from the mentors. Germer was once a workaholic, until a friend and colleague who knew about her 80-hour week asked, "Is it worth it?" That simple remark awakened her to "live large," to make friends beyond work and enjoy living in the moment. In her book, Germer quotes Carly Fiorina, the CEO of Hewlett-Packard, who enjoys spending time with her family, gardening and pursuing her love of dancing: "While I love what I do and am challenged by it, work does not define me as a whole person. I still have a soul, which is defined by things outside of how I make a living." Right now Germer has had to put all this wisdom to the test. Because of the mentor circles and her work on a second book, she had been putting in long hours again. "They are good hours, but there comes a point that you say, 'I'm not going to do everything that I said I would do this year.' " Back to Hard Won Wisdom.com WHAT WORKS Fawn Germer gives some advice to women dealing with other women in the workplace: • Don't be a victim. When someone does you wrong, say something. • Support other women rather than singling them out for competition. • Celebrate the achievements of others. And during those peaks and valleys at work, no matter who you are dealing with, be sure to: • Constantly remind yourself of how much you have accomplished. Don't wallow in what has gone wrong -- bask in what you have done right. • Don't automatically assume that it is your fault when something does go wrong. The workplace is rarely fair. • Log discussions and paperwork praising your work. If you need to self-promote, the evidence is there. You've also got the goods to help you get a better job.     Click here to read more     Click here to read more     Click here to read more           Copyright 2007 Fawn Germer. All rights reseved.